American Chimeras: Hodag

I have always loved the strange and obscure. Neil Gaiman has been my favorite author for 15 years because of his skill at making modern fairy tales. I love the way that American Gods TV show is expanding the story to get more seasons out of the book. Some uniquely American Myths that might belong in the series are the Jackelope and the Hodag. Jackelopes are Jack Rabbits with the horns of antelopes first discovered in Wyoming. Hodags are Crocodiles with the head of buffalo and claws and teeth of a lion first discovered in Wisconsin. In order to make these American Chimeras fit in with a series about Gods we will need to import a Greek God, Echidna Mother of the Greek Chimeras.  What Follows is a Fan Fiction blending the characters of American Gods with Echidna and a Hodag

Salim: Oh my god this stupid show? What rotten luck we have. What are the odds that I Dream of Genie just happens to be on TV.

Jinn: Turn that off!

SALIM: I’ll just change the channel…. every channel is playing the same thing What the fuck?

Media: Hello Jinn, there’s been a change in circumstances. Wednesday declared war on us. You need to accept our merger or we are going to assume you are with Wednesday in the War.

Jinn: Nothing, has changed. I would still rather die than help you corrupt the world. turning to Salim Grab you your bags

media nods her head and a James Bond faceless manakin appears on the screen

Media: I really did hope we would have been able to live and let live but I’ll just have to settle for live and let die.

Media nodds her head again and the faceless James Bond is now in their hotel room. cue the classic james bond chase scene music as Jinn and SALIM run to their Taxi.

SALIM: What the fuck is that thing?

Jinn: everything that is wrong with America.

SALIM: Isn’t Bond British?

Jinn: Shut up. They peel out of the driveway and Media still inside the TV nods her head and Aston Martin appears. The faceless James Bond enters the car and follows them

Salim: That really is James Bond? How can this be real?

Jinn: how can ifrit be real?

Salim: Can’t you drive any faster? If he’s James Bond then that car has heat seeking missiles or something else ridiculous.

Jinn laughs: Heat Seeking, that would be most unfortunate. Take the wheel. Jinn leans out the window and exhails a fiery butterfly shaped ember and slides back into the drivers seat, takes the wheel back and floors the gas petal

after 5 minutes of car chasing Bond runs their car of the road and they abandon it, running into the Wisconsin woods. The faceless James Bond chases them firing a gun. Looming large beside him a Lizard with the head of a buffalo and claws of a lion (Hodag) jumps out of the forest and devours the faceless James Bond. Salim Shits his pants. while Jinn looks around and exclaims “Allah Akbar’

Echina approaches Jinn. Echnida, half beautiful maiden and half fearsome snake. Hesiod described “the goddess fierce Echidna” as a flesh eating “monster, irresistible”, who was like neither “mortal men” nor “the undying gods”, but was “half a nymph with glancing eyes and fair cheeks, and half again a huge snake, great and awful, with speckled skin”, who “dies not nor grows old all her days. Echidna: I got your message. and she hands him his fiery butterfly.

Jinn: Thank you very much

Echidna: Are there more of them?

Jinn: there was only the one

Echidna: Good let’s get as far away from here as we can. Echidna whistles and the Hodag stops chewing on James Bond and walks up like an obedient dog. They don’t know where my cave is. I have a fresh batch of Hummus.

Salim: whispering to Jinn: who is she, do you trust her?

Jinn: we have the same enemy but she is the Mother of monsters like this Chimera, The Hodag? Echidna nods. I trust her to fight her enemies fiercely, I pray we do not become enemies Echidna smiles

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